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Mukasey’s Shock and Awe

Stephen HadleyI’m shocked, simply shocked I tell ya! Who would’ve guessed that our new Ambulance Chaser General, Michael Mucousy, would refuse to provide details about the DoJ whitewash, er, investigatio n into the destruction of the CIA interrogatio n tapes? Oh wait - everyone except Democratic shitheels Chuck Schumer and Dianne Feinstein, who were responsible for getting this Gonzo-in-cro ny’s-clothin g confirmed to begin with.

Chuck, DiFi? Hand me that damn gun before you shoot us all in the foot again.

While not as novel as the “I don’t know enough about water boarding to tell if it’s torture” defense, I have to say Mucousy’s dodge for not providing the goods on the latest scandal is pretty novel. He says has a policy, “based in part on our interest in avoiding any perception that our law enforcement decisions are subject to political influence.”

Um, Mike? Isn’t “avoiding any perception that our law enforcement decisions are subject to political influence” precisely why you are the new Alberto Gonzales? How could the fact that the CIA destroyed the tapes after Congress specifically requested them not to, in the midst of an ongoing he said/she said about torture tactics, in the wake of Federal Prosecutor tampering charges, alongside another 6322 scandals not appear to be “subject to political influence”?

Just asking, because me and about 75% of the rest of the population sure think so.

I’m not sure why the CIA even tried to keep this a secret. Why not just burn the tapes on the Washington Mall, have George and CIA Chief Stephen Hadley dance naked around the bonfire while The Big Dick comes out and tells the world to “go f*ck” themselves? The bonfire would have at least been fun, but the result would have been exactly the same.

As we speak, Patrick “No Balls” Leahey and Arlen “Chipmunk Cheeks” Specter are sharpening pencils to write a strongly worded protest to Mucousy. They plan to hand deliver it over “virgin” cocktails and an intimate dinner at the White House, no doubt.

I wasn’t kidding about being shocked (or maybe it’s “awed”, I can never keep those straight). What does it take for a politician in this country to be held accountable for anything, including wasting air the rest of us could breathe? What does it take for the alleged “loyal opposition” to pull their heads far enough out of the emperor’s ass to hear that part about “oppo-freaki n’-sition”? If my dog shat on the carpet as often as these Nimrods, I’d have already beaten her bloody with 70 editions of the Sunday NYT.

I love Christmas time. I just loooove finding another chimp turd under my tree. Ooooo, and this one smells too! Thank you Mr. Bush, and God bless us every one.

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One Response to “Mukasey’s Shock and Awe”

  1. The best thing I could think of after reading this in the papers was to write my representati ves and mention impeachment. I doubt if it was very effective but I felt better.

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